I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
