We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
