so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
