and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Im part way to drunk.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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