can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
