so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
