Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
honey bunches of taint.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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