i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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