dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
