Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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