I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
