I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
