Whod you bang
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
