"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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