God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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