just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
And then he peed in my hair
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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