4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
