Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
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