...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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