haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
