So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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