Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
