Only a mothe r could love this liver
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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