Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
