think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize