the condom got lost in my hair
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
