So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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