If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize