my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
worst night to have a conscience
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
