Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
