butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Pappa wants mamma naked
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
