I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize