Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My bed smells like the plague
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
