Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I smell like Dick and happiness
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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