problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize