I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
