from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We had sex on a dog bed..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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