Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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