alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
