New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
a search helicopter?!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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