I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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