So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
