she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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