pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
