We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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