Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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