your thong is hanging out like whoa
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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