We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
