Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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