I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
