We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
