My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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