I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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