I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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