listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
