She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
