Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize