I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
