I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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