I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize