HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
