I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
