Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Do vagina's smell?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He? As in you personified your dick?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize