I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
