Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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