I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize