Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
