Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize