I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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